What is the attitude of gratitude and how can I use it to gain more

A powerful way of drawing an abundance of good things in your life is to maintain an attitude of gratitude.  Appreciating what you have, be they big or small, is an essential part of receiving new blessings.  It is a positive energy that can set in motion the universe’s law of attraction.  To the unfamiliar, the law of attraction simply is:  “Like attracts like.”  Positive energies attract positive things.  Good thoughts generate good events, so on and so forth.  When you are grateful for what you have, you emit a positive energy that the universe absorbs and sends you back the same things that you are grateful for. 

You can use the attitude of gratitude to gain more of the good things in life.  This powerful attitude starts in your mind and you need to observe it regularly to reap its benefits. Here are some ways to unleash the power of the attitude of gratitude:

Begin your day with thoughts and feelings of gratitude.  As you start each day, say thank you for the positive things that you have received and for the new day that is about to unfold.  Make the attitude of gratitude a daily habit and watch the universe respond by bringing you more good things to appreciate. 

Focus on what you already have.  It does not matter whether the things you are grateful for are extraordinary ones or minor ones.  What is important is that you feel good about those things.  It is possible that you may be feeling overwhelmed right now by feelings of insufficiency.  When you start to notice the things that you do not have, it will help you to make a list of all the things that you are thankful for. Everyone has something to be grateful for.  As you write those things down, you will begin to feel grateful for what you have regardless of what you lack in life.  Feelings of gratitude produce positive brain signals to the universe.  In turn, the universe generates more of the positive things that you want by virtue of the law of attraction.  The law of attraction works by picking up those thoughts and giving you more just like them.

Give thanks as though you have already received what you want.  Feeling as if your wish is happening to you in the present sends a much stronger signal to the universe than simply asking for it.  Being thankful now before you actually receive your wish is a powerful way for creating the feeling of “now-ness” that the law of attraction can mirror back at you.  Say thank you for the money that you receive and feel its presence in your life.  Be grateful for the favorable response of a request that is yet to be acted upon and believe that it has already been granted.  Declare your gratitude with sentences that start with “I am so happy and grateful now that…” and fill in the rest with what you want.  The universe cooperates by giving you exactly what you are thankful for.

Indeed, practice gratitude everyday and all good things will come to you.

Napoleon Hill’s Six Steps to Success

Napoleon Hill’s “Think and Grow Rich” is probably the mother of all wealth creation books which seems to be the inspiration of many best selling books on the subject.  As I went through the chapters, I couldn’t help but recognize similar principles described in books like The Secret.

In one of the chapters, the author lays down 6 steps to financial success.  With Internet technology and everything electronic, I foresee some difficulty (especially with the younger generation) in following these steps. 

Read more about Hill’s Six Steps to Success and bring yourself closer to financial freedom.  The e-Book is free to download using an external link. There’s no catch. The people behind the free offer are passionate about sharing their ideas and look forward to having more visitors drop by the site.

The Write Stuff

I was born to write.

As a little child, I had a special attachment to my first yellow and blue Bic ballpoint pen that my Dad gave me.
I used it first to write a short letter to God thanking Him for my new ball pen.
I hid that note behind a huge statue of the Holy Child Jesus that was dressed in white and gold.

When its ink ran out,
I cried so hard that my Dad thought someone had hurt me badly.
He quickly replaced my pen with a new one and I used it again to write a note asking God to please not let my pen go dry on me again.

As I grew older,
I developed a huge ball pen collection of every color imaginable.
I had scented ones that seemed good to eat and glittery inks that made all my classmates envious.
My favorites were the pastel colored slim Sanrio ball pens that I painstakingly saved up for with my grade school allowance.

I had my first gold Cross pen when I was 15 and had several more after that.
But I’m not particularly obsessed with expensive pens– only the ones that write well.
I used to find it hard to leave a bookstore or office supplies shop without buying a few pens—the disposable generic variety.

Some days, I like them in blue and on other days, I prefer to write in black.
Nowadays, a good disposable ball pen is my partner at work just like my yellow pad.
I may not use pens to write letters to God anymore as I communicate directly through prayers, but I use them as instruments for change–inspiring and teaching people how to change their lives in my own little way.

Success Using the Millionaire Mindset

We will never change what we consistently tolerate.” –Pat Mesiti

Discontent can be the fuel of success. Oftentimes, what separates those who succeed from those who don’t is discontent.  A mere desire to succeed is not enough.  You must be dissatisfied with where you are and have a clear idea of where you want to be.   

You attract what you tolerate. 


Oftentimes, you may accept things as they are rather than what they should be.  Acceptance also brings tolerance.  As you tolerate some things in your life, you may find yourself constantly navigating around those things by making excuses for being the way you are.  

Change can only happen when you refuse to tolerate what you dislike.

When you really dislike something, you should refuse to tolerate it.   Instead of going with the flow, start new habits and behaviors while adopting new ways of thinking. 

Success is not a one-time event.

It should be a continuing goal for you to experience real changes in your life, and eventually, prosperity.  Notice how athletes work hard daily to beat their personal best records.  Their skills are don’t just happen overnight, and they don’t stay champions without daily practice.

Successful businesses as well depend on constant innovations not just to stay ahead of the competition but also to maintain their standing. 

Life should not be any different as it is in constant motion.  To live a good life, you need to work on it, make some changes or improvements– constantly.

Break old habits.

Dissatisfaction over your current situation should motivate you to change.   Being contented can make you complacent.  But if you want real change, you need to open your eyes and acknowledge that some things are not as good as they could or should be. 

Why wait for things to reach a crisis point before deciding to change?  

In his book, How to have a Millionaire Mindset, life coach and mentor Pat Mesiti explains that the millionaire mindset is all about prosperity.   While most life coaches teach prosperity as a goal, Pat adds that it should be much more than that.  If you want to have a millionaire mindset, you need to view prosperity as a journey, not a destination.  Decide that “good enough” is no longer good enough for you.  Pursue the best in every area of your life, not just occasionally, but constantly.

Moving On from a Separation

Don’t ever make the pleasurable people of today pay for the painful people of yesterday.”—Pat Mesiti.

People come in and out of your life at various times and for different reasons.  Business partners may have severed ties with you, close friends may have walked away from you and lovers may have left you.

When someone you care for leaves you, tell yourself to let them go.

In his book, “Soaring Higher,” controversial motivational speaker Pat Mesiti says that to get over the pain of a separation, you need to work on accepting that your destiny is no longer linked to those who walk away from you. 


Closed chapters

People who once shared their lives with you may leave for a number of reasons.  Oftentimes, you do your best to keep them from going by talking things out with them. While fighting for a relationship signifies the importance of that person to you, avoid begging the other to stay against his or her will.  

When people no longer belong in your life, nothing can make them stay.  You need not beg them to stay because if they want to be part of your life, they will want to stay voluntarily and not go away. What you once shared may be viewed as closed chapters leading to a new segment or story in your life.


How to move on


I know how difficult it can be to live again after a relationship ends.  My marriage ended when I was only in my mid-30s and not quite a year after my youngest son was born.  I had to balance so many things at the same time:  raising two young children on my own, working as a lawyer for a wireless broadband company, fighting my annulment and custody case in court, and — healing deep emotional wounds left behind by a painful ending.

It can be especially harder for those who did not want the relationship to end and were the ones  left behind.  

It has been 6 years since my separation.  And today, I am whole again.  And I can tell you how I did it–


Accept the parting as part of life

Your life is a story with many chapters. As one chapter ends, another one begins, and your story continues.  Goodbyes often lead to new encounters and for me, painful endings can be viewed as gifts in disguise. 

Treat yourself well.

A parting should not mean the end of the road for you. While grieving over your loss is part of healing, you don’t have to sink in depression forever. Get up, go out and have a great time with good friends.

Live again.

Mistakes are past events.   You can choose to learn from them and emerge a better person as a result of your past.    As you continue living, you will encounter persons with whom you may feel a connection.   

Open your mind to new relationships and avoid using your past hurts as excuses to avoid close relationships

Bear in mind that the ones you will meet have nothing to do with your pain. Don’t take it out on them.

Why I Avoid Negativity at All Costs

Goals are dreams made real. You envision something that is far better than what you have and look for ways to reach it.  Many people struggle to reach their goals for a number of reasons. One of them is negativity.

I grew up around negative people– at home and in school.   I continued to be surrounded by negativity even as a young adult– at work and in my relationships.   I guess it is easier for people to act and think negatively in response to difficult situations, including me.

Like many of us who experience a major crisis before taking a different turn, I decided to shed my negative attitude during the course of my marriage annulment proceedings.   Why?  Simply because I got tired of being angry and feeling hurt.   I woke up one morning and told myself that I was going to take charge of my feelings and wasn’t going to let anyone or anything provoke me. 

Happiness IS a choice.  Besides, there are many other reasons why I avoid negativity—

Negativity cripples growth.

Everyone has goals.  It could be a fitness goal, financial goal, career goal, or any dream in your head.  The thing is, if you think negatively about what you want, chances are that you won’t be able to reach it.   

When you are convinced that there is no way for you to succeed, your mind prevents you from doing what you can and from seeing it through.  Even the tiniest doubt can lead you to abandon your goals when you encounter difficulties along the way. As a result, you may find yourself in the same position after a period of time shall have lapsed, “stinking” like stagnant water.

Negativity makes excuses rather than opportunity.

A negative thinker runs away from an opportunity while a positive thinker seizes it.  A person with a negative mindset feels inadequate and uncomfortable with moving forward while a dreamer is filled with excitement for what is to become of him.  To relieve his anxiety, the negative thinker rationalises with himself never realising that the probabilities of success and failure in every situation are equal. You either succeed or you don’t.

Negativity builds doubt rather than faith.

I admit that there were moments of doubt, particularly when things got tough as a single parent. Life’s just like that.  Today you could be perfect while tomorrow can be the opposite.   But I didn’t let my doubts and fears sink in and turn into negative thoughts.  At times like these, you need to catch yourself as you begin to get that sinking feeling and replace negative thoughts with more positive scenarios. 

Using the analogy of a clock, a favorite motivational speaker once suggested that you wind up your mind daily with good thoughts to keep it running well.  I do just that.  

Avoid negativity!

Negativity can exist in your own mind or it can come from the attitude of people around you.  Ignore criticism but be open to suggestion.  Avoid people who cannot seem to find the good in anything as negativity can be contagious.

As you work your way to a goal, obstacles may arise and can usher in negative thoughts.  To help you get a positive mindset, look at the situation just as you would view a photograph’s negative in reverse.  Highlight the positive aspects, believe that setbacks are temporary and get on with your goal.

The Mindset of Achievers

Achievers are not born– they are self made.  And there are specific qualities that achievers share in common and which may account for their successes in life.

These include:

Positive thinking

For dreamers, nothing is impossible. The body can achieve what the mind can conceive and believe.  There is no room for negativity in the mind of a dreamer because negativity is the killer of dreams.  If you want to succeed, you must practise positive thinking and replace negative thoughts with better ones.


All things that are tangible started out as ideas and concepts in the mind. For instance, all tall buildings started out as images in the mind of the architect.  Creativity is important because not all problems have clear cut solutions or there may be a better way to handle a situation.  Achievers use their imagination to create solutions for problems or to discover better ways of reaching their goals.

Victory mentality

Achievers are still human with limitations like everyone else. They also experience failure in business and relationships as well as tragedies like abuse, rejection, divorce and injustice.  Achievers, however, rise above their storms, refuse to turn bitter and become better regardless of their tragedies. Instead of wasting their time and energy by beating themselves about their misfortune, achievers turn their energies into productive activities, moving on from where they left off.  Losers keep a victim mentality while winners bear a victory mentality.

Big thinking

Achievers understand that the mind is boundless and think in big terms.  While the body can only grow so much, the mind does not carry such limitation.  When you think big, you dream big.  Conditioning your mind to think big eventually leads you to take steps to achieve that dream, no matter how huge it may seem.  Aim high if you want to hit high.

Understanding Quantum Consciousness

Sometime last year, a client asked me to write a few articles on an interesting and complex subject– Quantum Consciousness.  For some, what you are about to read can be confusing or enlightening, depending on how “open” your mind is to exploring theories of the mind. 

Here is that article:

Answering the question “what is consciousness?” has baffled scientists and philosophers for quite some time. Men of science on one hand explain consciousness or the mind in physical ways by describing the brain, its structure and fabric. 

While the brain is responsible for the body’s responses to stimuli using the five material senses of touch, taste, hearing, smell and sight, there are other brain activities such as mind wandering, day dreaming, meditation, and memories which occur without physical stimuli, but are nonetheless real.   Thus, the theory of quantum consciousness arose as another school of thought attempted to fully explain the mind using a combination of science and philosophy. 

Basis of quantum consciousness

The underlying principle of quantum consciousness holds that the mind controls the brain and that consciousness is not merely physical matter.  To understand consciousness, its proponents posed the philosophical question: 

 What is the self?

At first glance, it may seem like a simple, even trivial question.  For most of us, the self is simply “me” as opposed to “others”.  But on the more fundamental level, the question of “what is the self” is quite difficult to answer. 

Experts from various backgrounds have attempted to explain this abstract concept only to conclude that the mind, consciousness, or the self is not mere physical matter. 

The debate between the scientists on one hand and the philosophers on the other continues. While there may be no definite answer to the question about the self, what remains clear in quantum consciousness theory is that a connection exists between the mind and the body.

Using quantum consciousness for healing


Proceeding from the mind-body connection of quantum consciousness, with your brain as the major control center of the body, some health professionals claim that it is possible to master the mind-body connection heal physical ailments without the use of medicine.

Faith healers, those with incredible inner strength and so-called miracle workers are said to have unleashed the power of the mind or consciousness to change physical matter and overcome diseases. 

Practitioners of quantum healing use their mastery of consciousness as well to treat stress-related diseases such as chronic body aches and pains, boost energy levels, sharpen memory and clarity, delay physical signs of aging, strengthen the immune system and promote a sense of well-being.

Quantum consciousness can be used in many aspects of life. It is best demonstrated by the successes of many in various fields.  These are the people who are able to set goals, motivate themselves and yield tangible results.

Procrastination Kills

Failure and success are determined by two common elements: timing and advice. – Pat Mesiti

Even as access to knowledge has become easier than ever with Internet and self improvement resources,  you still see many people leading their lives as before, some even going on a downward spiral. What then causes these  people to fail in spite of all the principles of prosperity being taught to them?   The problem with most people  is procrastination.

Two things are important in success:   Timing and Advice.  Master both, and you’ll find every goal achievable.


Successful people attribute their achievements to doing the right thing while being at the right place and right time.  On the other hand, the ones who fail are those who wait too long before they do something about their situation or get help for it.  Take the case of someone in need of medical help.   For most diseases, early detection and intervention are crucial for effective treatment. 

 The element of timing not only applies to your health, but to your finances, happiness, job and relationship as well.     People who put off saving for the future often end in bankruptcy or debt.   An unhappy marriage that is left untended often leads to divorce.   Similarly, those who continuously postpone pursuing their passions end up with regret when they are old.    


All problems have solutions.  You just need to know what they are.    While it may be possible for you not to know the appropriate solution for your situation, bear in mind that others do. 

There are specialists, experts and those who have dealt with a similar issue with success.  You can turn to professionals like doctors, accountants, lawyers, coaches and consultants for proper advice.    

Timing also matters when seeking advice.     The sooner you ask for assistance, the greater are your chances of resolving your problem or reaching your goals. 

Time stops for no one, nor can it be reversed. For every second that you spend not doing what you are supposed to do, you pull yourself further away from your goal, or worse, make things more difficult to address later on.

So go  to the right people for advice and  take action while your problems are manageable.

Why You Should Choose Your Associations

As children, we were often reminded by our parents to choose our friends wisely.   This is due to the idea that when two or more people get together frequently, there is usually a common denominator running through them that makes them gel.    And if you are not careful about the company you keep, you may wind up just like any of them depending on that person’s degree of influence on you.

I’ve had my own lessons in friendships as well.

While I try to welcome friends from all walks of life, I admit that I maintain varying degrees of friendship with them.  The ones that survive over the years are those whose lives, interests and values mirror mine.  Those that don’t simply fall out of the way or reach low points that signal the need to move on.   We simply learn from the highs and lows of relationships and hopefully emerge wiser.

A motivational speaker, author and life coach who I admire is Pat Mesiti. His is a life story that seems to come straight out of a movie because of his dramatic high and low points in life. And he likes to share what he learned through those moments.  Here are some of the things I learned from him:


Find good role models in all areas of your life. 

You may not know how to become prosperous in your life but you may know of people who are successful in their careers, businesses, and families.  Connect with these people who are good in what you want to do.  Learn their methods and apply these principles to your life.

Choose the company you keep wisely.

The people who you are regularly exposed to can influence the way you think, talk and act.  Notice how you feel weighed down after hanging around negative people.  On the other hand, Pat Mesiti believes that you can become successful if you spend more time with people who are achievers in their respective fields.  

Stretch your comfort zone to reach a higher level of association.


Success can entail moving upward in the level of your associations.  The thought of changing your environment slightly may intimidate you and prevent you from moving outside your comfort zone. New associations bring new experiences that may seem uncomfortable at the onset.  While your new relationships may take some getting used to, you should still keep an open mind and allow yourself to flow with the opportunities that come with your new friendship.

As a life coach, Pat Mesiti has taught many people how to identify and build meaningful associations only with special types of people.  These include the people you look up to such as mentors and role models, peers with whom you can interact and discuss deep issues with as well as people you can lead.  If you lack any meaningful association right now, then strive to get close to people who can have a positive effect in your life and to build your connection with them.  Conversely, you should avoid paying too much attention to people who are constantly whining about their lives.  Remember, your associations become your assimilations.

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