Archive for Personal development

Fastest Learning Technique : S.A.P.

May 19, 2011 / / No comments

The ability to grasp lessons quickly is an indispensable skill both in business and life, in general.  With loads of information available on the Internet, the best information products or resources are those that maximize learning in the shortest time.   Here’s what some experts recommend

Fastest way to learn

Memory experts maintain that the fastest way to learn is not by following a step by step guide, but by using the Scan-Absorb-Process (SAP) technique.

Scan

The learning process often starts by scanning a training product or resource, in search of key points that answer your most pressing issues or solve a problem.   When you scan, you go straight to the portion which relates to your needs.

This technique, however, works well only with specific types of content. What you’re looking for are articles or books that use:

  • bulleted or numbered lists
  • subheadings
  • table of contents
  • bold letters, italics and other special font styles
  • structured paragraphs with thesis and concluding sentences

Absorb

Absorbing content must accompany scanning for optimum learning.  You can do this by taking down notes verbatim or by rephrasing lessons and ideas. You can also make an outline or draw a mindmap as you scan to aid absorption. 

Process

A great way to process what you’ve just learned is by trying out the method or technique immediately.  In learning, experience is still the best teacher.  This is why experts encourage students to do practical exercises immediately after scanning a new lesson. This not only drives home the point but helps test the principles taught.  

Kinesthetic movement while learning promotes optimum education. So, read a book while on a stationary bike or  listen to an audio lesson while taking a walk. 

While learning new skills ordinarily takes time, you can reduce the learning curve by applying the Scan-Absorb-Process technique.  Experts maintain that children can also be taught this technique for better performance in school.

Category: Personal development / Tags: , ,

Why Most People Fail At Meeting Their Goals

May 18, 2011 / / No comments

There once was a thirsty crow that came across a pitcher with very little water left in it.   Alas, might as he tried, he could not reach the water at the bottom of the pitcher.  A wonderful idea struck the crow and he set out to drop a small pebble one by one into the pitcher until the water at the bottom rose up to the brim.  By dropping little stones into the pitcher, the thirsty crow got what he wanted and saved his life.

                             Moral of the story  :  Little by little does the trick.

This was one of my favorite stories from Aesop’s Fables.  It may have been written once upon a time but the simple lesson still holds true more than ever today.

Setting a big goal can overwhelm you with the amount of work, time, energy and resources required to achieve it. As time passes, frustration may set in and eventually lead to the abandonment of that goal. 

Set smaller goals first:  Successful people share one thing in common—the superior ability to define their goals and break them up into small bite-sized portions that are easily achieved.  To illustrate, if you need to lose 50 pounds, the kind of exercise you need to do everyday and the amount of food you need to cut down can seem like a tall order.  Easier said than done!

How it works:    The better and realistic approach is to set a short term goal that is achievable, say losing 5 pounds in fourteen days.    Ordinarily, a diet that is 500 calories less than your usual daily intake and at least 20 minutes of cardiovascular activity 3 to 4 times a week will let you drop that kind of weight in 2 weeks. Once you experience the short term results, you are motivated and encouraged to go for the next 5 to 10 pounds in the next week or so until your body starts to lose weight much faster with a consistent workout, improved metabolism and healthier diet. 

Applied to financial problems:     The same holds true for financial goals.  Setting aside small amounts of money every month from your regular paycheck and putting it into an investment fund will one day grow into a comfortable nest egg for your retirement years. 

Example – Get rid of credit card debt:  Getting rid of credit card debt also responds to this approach.  Start with the debt with the highest interest rate, settle it first so that you reduce your interest expenses and have extra cash the next month for paying off another debt with the next higher interest cost. I’ve seen ordinary folks deal with similar problems and who are now credit-free after a few years. 

 It can happen. It only takes discipline, patience and perseverance.  Determine your ultimate goal and break it up into small parts.  Little by little does the trick!

Category: Personal development / Tags: , , , ,

How to Deal with Challenges

May 11, 2011 / / No comments

“Educators teach with chalk and books, life teaches through adversity and challenges.” – Pat Mesiti

Life occasionally throws us curved balls and lemons.  Without inner strength, these moments can be scary and depressing.  Even the most successful people go through severe challenges but the difference lies in how they hurdled these and survived.

Pat Mesiti  was on top of his game when a series of crises rocked his life. In a blink of an eye, he lost everything that he had– marriage and well-paying career. Today, however, Pat Mesiti is back on his feet, better and wiser than before, taking on the path of guiding others who struggle with personal challenges.  

Life lesson No. 1 : Pain brings growth. 

The pain you experience while at your lowest can be the seed for growth. Just like Pat Mesiti, it was when I was at my lowest that I developed my inner strength.  Problems can bring out the best or worst in people. With the right mindset, it is possible to use this struggle to rise above your challenges and soar even higher than before.

Without life’s challenges, people tend to develop complacency. Painful experience forces them to change. No pain, no progress.  

How to deal with challenges

Attack the problem, not the people.

A serious problem can cause a lot of stress and overwhelm, often leading you to take out your frustrations and disappointment on others. Bear in mind, however, that in times of trouble, your best allies are those who stick around and support you.  Instead, pour your pent up energy on exploring  solutions to your problem.  

Gather all the information you need. 

Every problem has a solution.  And this involves learning all there is to know about a problem.  This applies to many aspects of life. For instance, a doctor will only prescribe the appropriate medication after a thorough patient examination, asking the right questions and analyzing results of physical and laboratory tests.  By going to the heart of the problem, you are able to devise a plan of action.    

List possible options. 

Writing down possible solutions allows you to process each option objectively.  The appropriate solution will soon emerge after weighing the pros and cons of each option.  

Look at the positive aspect of your problem. 

Focusing on the negative aspect of your problem will only increase feelings of helplessness.  On the other hand, looking at the positive side eases the emotional aspect. Learn to look for the brighter side of every problem.    

Challenges add meaning and purpose to life.  They teach you how to appreciate the good things that come and to count your blessings more.  While pain and difficulty may accompany every problem, a positive mindset and fighting spirit will help you get over the hump and emerge much stronger than ever.

Category: Personal development / Tags: , ,

Piano Lessons Can Boost A Child’s IQ

November 29, 2010 / / No comments

I enjoyed playing the piano at an early age but never really liked the long hours of practice and became the nightmare of my piano teachers back then. The monotony of playing the same piece everyday made me impatient as I imagined myself doing a Liberace instead of my lame abridged version of Minuet in G. Had my teachers informed me back then that piano lessons could actually boost a child’s IQ, I would have been less of a headache to them when I was in my pre-teens!

Math skills:  Studies are increasingly linking math skills and piano lessons especially when learned at a young age. Apparently, the entire exercise of memorizing notes and sequences, expressing emotion while playing a piece and studying musical measures and beats, stimulates the same parts of the brain that are responsible for a child’s mathematical skills and spatial intelligence.  Spatial intelligence is the ability to think through 3-dimensional puzzles without actually seeing the actual model.

Communication skills:  Playing a musical instrument, especially the piano, promotes the same brain processes that sharpens a person’s language skills.    In fact, piano training is currently being used by special education programs for autistic children as early as age 3 or 4!   The effects are more pronounced in students who have been training for years. 

In addition to increasing intelligence, piano training is also a great way to improve a child’s self esteem and instill cooperation in the classroom.

Category: Personal development / Tags: , ,

Formula for Overcoming Failure

November 22, 2010 / / No comments

“Failure is not final; failure is not fatal.” – Pat Mesiti

 I’ve had the privilege of studying the life lessons taught around the world by Australia’s most popular life coach and mentor Pat Mesiti.  A necessary requirement for my Mesiti project entailed reading most of his bestselling books on self improvement, and it didn’t take long for me to see why he is a sought after speaker.

Looking at Pat Mesiti now, you may think that life was always sweet and easy for him.  He is living the life that most people dream of.   As a motivational speaker, Pat Mesiti does not mind revealing personal details of his life just to illustrate some of the principles he teaches.   In one of his books, he talks candidly about failure.

People generally do not take failure very well.   When things don’t go as planned, their world stops or they simply stop living.   People who lose hope seem to overlook that failure is not a permanent condition.  It comes and goes depending on how you deal with it. 

A few years ago, Pat Mesiti faced a major crisis that cost him his career and marriage. Fast forward to today, Pat Mesiti is back on his feet and is a successful public speaker, author, life coach and mentor. He is living proof that failure is, indeed, never final.  His is not an isolated case.  Most successful businessmen at one time became bankrupt or were deep in debt before they rose to greater heights.  

Use failure as a tool to rebuild.

When dealing with failure, you have two choices: to wallow in self pity and misery or to get up and find ways to rise above your situation.   Pat Mesiti narrates how he picked himself up when he hit rock bottom.  It all started with a realization that failure should not kill dreams or end goals.   Instead, he used his personal crisis as a springboard to bounce back.   For some, the pain of failure is the driving force that pushes them out of a rut.  

Learn from your failures.

There is always a lesson to be learned from a failure. Oftentimes, failure occurs because of something that you keep doing wrongly.  While failure may be a part of life, it is meant to teach you that something does not work. Determine what you did wrong and avoid making the same mistake or risk failure once again.

Take concrete action to correct your mistake.

As the old saying goes, “The man who does not correct a mistake is making a bigger mistake.”  It is not enough to know where you went wrong and accept failure.  If a mistake can still be rectified, then by all means, do your best to fix it. Your failure may have hurt someone or some people. Saying that you are sorry and making amends can pave the way for moving beyond your failure.

People also tend to isolate themselves when dealing with failure.  While being alone is a way to recoup from a serious mistake or loss, surrounding yourself with supportive family and friends and having an inspiration to succeed will shorten your recovery time.

I feel sad when I hear of people taking their own lives because of overwhelming debt or heartbreak.   In my legal blogs, I occasionally deviate from my usual topics to talk about ending credit card debt or open my Inbox to those who would like to ask for advice on family law (most legal queries carry a personal component that can seem more unbearable than the legal difficulties of their questions).  While I may not be able to fix everyone’s problems, I’d like to reach out and remind them that the world does go round.  Seasons change with the passing of time. The sun will always rise in the morning.   Life has its ups and downs– but it is beautiful that way.

Category: Personal development /

Forgiveness and Moving Forward

November 10, 2010 / / No comments

“Forgiveness is a thing that cleans the deck of our lives.”—Pat Mesiti

Most people find that the gravity of a mistake determines how soon or how long they can forgive.  Oftentimes, a serious wrongdoing will remain not only in your memory, but also in your heart.  But it is precisely this emotional attachment to a mistake that prevents you from moving on to a better life.  

The Monkey Experiment

Bestselling author and life coach Pat Mesiti illustrates this concept of letting go with a story about how some scientists managed to capture a rare species of monkeys. 

The scientists devised a trap using bottles with narrow necks that contained some nuts. As expected, the monkeys reached into the bottles to get the nuts but their clenched fists prevented them from withdrawing their hands, effectively trapping them. The monkeys’ refusal to let go kept them trapped.  Similarly, humans who are unable to forgive refuse to let go of the past, preventing them from moving on to better things. 

Clinging to a past mistake uses up so much of your energy when there is nothing you can do to change what has happened. Successful people also make mistakes but the difference lies in how they focus on the future, not on the past.   Just remember:

“You cannot move forward while looking at the rear view mirror.”

 

You may find it hard to forgive because the memory of a past mistake can constantly refresh the pain and negativity that accompanied the wrongdoing or failure. While you may not forget things, it is possible to rise above a mistake or failure by choosing to forgive.  Remembering the past may come from the mind, but forgiving the past must come from the heart. It may take some strength to forgive others, but it can only happen if you exercise that choice.

Forgiveness does not only apply to others who may have wronged you.  If you have been in a rut for quite some time and can’t seem to get out of it, chances are that you are holding on to a personal failure and wallowing in bitterness, regret or self pity.  Having gone through moments of bitterness as well, I assure you that it was in forgiving myself that I was able to truly move on.  While I may not be able to erase my past, I chose to get up again and start a new direction on a clean slate.

Category: Personal development / Tags: ,

Why I Avoid Negativity at All Costs

August 5, 2010 / / No comments

Goals are dreams made real. You envision something that is far better than what you have and look for ways to reach it.  Many people struggle to reach their goals for a number of reasons. One of them is negativity.

I grew up around negative people– at home and in school.   I continued to be surrounded by negativity even as a young adult– at work and in my relationships.   I guess it is easier for people to act and think negatively in response to difficult situations, including me.

Like many of us who experience a major crisis before taking a different turn, I decided to shed my negative attitude during the course of my marriage annulment proceedings.   Why?  Simply because I got tired of being angry and feeling hurt.   I woke up one morning and told myself that I was going to take charge of my feelings and wasn’t going to let anyone or anything provoke me. 

Happiness IS a choice.  Besides, there are many other reasons why I avoid negativity—

Negativity cripples growth.

Everyone has goals.  It could be a fitness goal, financial goal, career goal, or any dream in your head.  The thing is, if you think negatively about what you want, chances are that you won’t be able to reach it.   

When you are convinced that there is no way for you to succeed, your mind prevents you from doing what you can and from seeing it through.  Even the tiniest doubt can lead you to abandon your goals when you encounter difficulties along the way. As a result, you may find yourself in the same position after a period of time shall have lapsed, “stinking” like stagnant water.

Negativity makes excuses rather than opportunity.

A negative thinker runs away from an opportunity while a positive thinker seizes it.  A person with a negative mindset feels inadequate and uncomfortable with moving forward while a dreamer is filled with excitement for what is to become of him.  To relieve his anxiety, the negative thinker rationalises with himself never realising that the probabilities of success and failure in every situation are equal. You either succeed or you don’t.

Negativity builds doubt rather than faith.

I admit that there were moments of doubt, particularly when things got tough as a single parent. Life’s just like that.  Today you could be perfect while tomorrow can be the opposite.   But I didn’t let my doubts and fears sink in and turn into negative thoughts.  At times like these, you need to catch yourself as you begin to get that sinking feeling and replace negative thoughts with more positive scenarios. 

Using the analogy of a clock, a favorite motivational speaker once suggested that you wind up your mind daily with good thoughts to keep it running well.  I do just that.  

Avoid negativity!

Negativity can exist in your own mind or it can come from the attitude of people around you.  Ignore criticism but be open to suggestion.  Avoid people who cannot seem to find the good in anything as negativity can be contagious.

As you work your way to a goal, obstacles may arise and can usher in negative thoughts.  To help you get a positive mindset, look at the situation just as you would view a photograph’s negative in reverse.  Highlight the positive aspects, believe that setbacks are temporary and get on with your goal.

Category: Personal development / Tags: , , ,

The Mindset of Achievers

August 5, 2010 / / No comments

Achievers are not born– they are self made.  And there are specific qualities that achievers share in common and which may account for their successes in life.

These include:

Positive thinking

For dreamers, nothing is impossible. The body can achieve what the mind can conceive and believe.  There is no room for negativity in the mind of a dreamer because negativity is the killer of dreams.  If you want to succeed, you must practise positive thinking and replace negative thoughts with better ones.

Imaginative

All things that are tangible started out as ideas and concepts in the mind. For instance, all tall buildings started out as images in the mind of the architect.  Creativity is important because not all problems have clear cut solutions or there may be a better way to handle a situation.  Achievers use their imagination to create solutions for problems or to discover better ways of reaching their goals.

Victory mentality

Achievers are still human with limitations like everyone else. They also experience failure in business and relationships as well as tragedies like abuse, rejection, divorce and injustice.  Achievers, however, rise above their storms, refuse to turn bitter and become better regardless of their tragedies. Instead of wasting their time and energy by beating themselves about their misfortune, achievers turn their energies into productive activities, moving on from where they left off.  Losers keep a victim mentality while winners bear a victory mentality.

Big thinking

Achievers understand that the mind is boundless and think in big terms.  While the body can only grow so much, the mind does not carry such limitation.  When you think big, you dream big.  Conditioning your mind to think big eventually leads you to take steps to achieve that dream, no matter how huge it may seem.  Aim high if you want to hit high.

Category: Personal development / Tags: , , ,

Understanding Quantum Consciousness

August 2, 2010 / / No comments

Sometime last year, a client asked me to write a few articles on an interesting and complex subject– Quantum Consciousness.  For some, what you are about to read can be confusing or enlightening, depending on how “open” your mind is to exploring theories of the mind. 

Here is that article:

Answering the question “what is consciousness?” has baffled scientists and philosophers for quite some time. Men of science on one hand explain consciousness or the mind in physical ways by describing the brain, its structure and fabric. 

While the brain is responsible for the body’s responses to stimuli using the five material senses of touch, taste, hearing, smell and sight, there are other brain activities such as mind wandering, day dreaming, meditation, and memories which occur without physical stimuli, but are nonetheless real.   Thus, the theory of quantum consciousness arose as another school of thought attempted to fully explain the mind using a combination of science and philosophy. 

Basis of quantum consciousness

The underlying principle of quantum consciousness holds that the mind controls the brain and that consciousness is not merely physical matter.  To understand consciousness, its proponents posed the philosophical question: 

 What is the self?

At first glance, it may seem like a simple, even trivial question.  For most of us, the self is simply “me” as opposed to “others”.  But on the more fundamental level, the question of “what is the self” is quite difficult to answer. 

Experts from various backgrounds have attempted to explain this abstract concept only to conclude that the mind, consciousness, or the self is not mere physical matter. 

The debate between the scientists on one hand and the philosophers on the other continues. While there may be no definite answer to the question about the self, what remains clear in quantum consciousness theory is that a connection exists between the mind and the body.

Using quantum consciousness for healing

 

Proceeding from the mind-body connection of quantum consciousness, with your brain as the major control center of the body, some health professionals claim that it is possible to master the mind-body connection heal physical ailments without the use of medicine.

Faith healers, those with incredible inner strength and so-called miracle workers are said to have unleashed the power of the mind or consciousness to change physical matter and overcome diseases. 

Practitioners of quantum healing use their mastery of consciousness as well to treat stress-related diseases such as chronic body aches and pains, boost energy levels, sharpen memory and clarity, delay physical signs of aging, strengthen the immune system and promote a sense of well-being.

Quantum consciousness can be used in many aspects of life. It is best demonstrated by the successes of many in various fields.  These are the people who are able to set goals, motivate themselves and yield tangible results.

Category: Personal development / Tags: , , , , , ,

Procrastination Kills

July 18, 2010 / / No comments

Failure and success are determined by two common elements: timing and advice. – Pat Mesiti

Even as access to knowledge has become easier than ever with Internet and self improvement resources,  you still see many people leading their lives as before, some even going on a downward spiral. What then causes these  people to fail in spite of all the principles of prosperity being taught to them?   The problem with most people  is procrastination.

Two things are important in success:   Timing and Advice.  Master both, and you’ll find every goal achievable.

Timing

Successful people attribute their achievements to doing the right thing while being at the right place and right time.  On the other hand, the ones who fail are those who wait too long before they do something about their situation or get help for it.  Take the case of someone in need of medical help.   For most diseases, early detection and intervention are crucial for effective treatment. 

 The element of timing not only applies to your health, but to your finances, happiness, job and relationship as well.     People who put off saving for the future often end in bankruptcy or debt.   An unhappy marriage that is left untended often leads to divorce.   Similarly, those who continuously postpone pursuing their passions end up with regret when they are old.    

Advice

All problems have solutions.  You just need to know what they are.    While it may be possible for you not to know the appropriate solution for your situation, bear in mind that others do. 

There are specialists, experts and those who have dealt with a similar issue with success.  You can turn to professionals like doctors, accountants, lawyers, coaches and consultants for proper advice.    

Timing also matters when seeking advice.     The sooner you ask for assistance, the greater are your chances of resolving your problem or reaching your goals. 

Time stops for no one, nor can it be reversed. For every second that you spend not doing what you are supposed to do, you pull yourself further away from your goal, or worse, make things more difficult to address later on.

So go  to the right people for advice and  take action while your problems are manageable.

Category: Personal development / Tags: ,
« Older Entries  

All Rights Reserved. 2011 -2013 MaryChristine.Me by Mary Christine Florido