“Radical acceptance”
“Gaslighting”
“NPD”
These were three terms that dominated my weekend in review.
Coming from a documentary that is currently featured on a popular streaming app, I am reminded of the therapeutic benefits of silence and journaling. Ideally, one’s thoughts must be put in writing with pen and paper for optimum results. But for most millenials, the electronic journal should do just fine.
Unlike my previous posts where terms are defined and used in proper context, I’m aware that words left here can be the subject of malicious interpretation by eagle-eyed stalkers. For the well-intentioned readers, let’s just say that one way to deal with NPD types is to gloss over their gaslighting and/or accept the condition wholeheartedly without question. The approach to take will depend on individual circumstances as I always like to say that “No two persons are exactly alike.”
Gaslighting to my mind is simply invalidating your feelings and perceptions in order to suit one’s personal agenda. I’m sure there are more detailed and formal definitions out there but this is what it means to me in a nutshell. Key indicators of gaslighting include use of words such as “you’re crazy”, “losing it”, “tripping on drugs” (unless you really are under the influence :)), “get your facts straight”, or “traitor” (for calling them out). It’s widespread in many relationships that people have come to view this as appropriate behavior.
The effects of gaslighting are varied but ultimately damaging to relationships that are constantly subjected to this habit. If you’re entrenched in it, chances are that you won’t even recognize it unless you distance yourself from your tormentor and put your thoughts in words that you can read.
Not all introspection results in “a-ha” moments. It’s possible that you’ll need to go through the exercise of self-examination and journaling a couple of times until you see a discernible pattern that either requires drastic change or ‘radical acceptance’.
Don’t feel the need to rush yourself into making life-changing decisions if you’re not ready for it. Sooner or later, your inner self will nudge you when it’s time. And believe me, that time or circumstance can come when least expected.
Love and Light. May you find lasting inner peace in the path illumined for you.