Tag Archive for positive thinking

Why I Avoid Negativity at All Costs

Goals are dreams made real. You envision something that is far better than what you have and look for ways to reach it.  Many people struggle to reach their goals for a number of reasons. One of them is negativity.

I grew up around negative people– at home and in school.   I continued to be surrounded by negativity even as a young adult– at work and in my relationships.   I guess it is easier for people to act and think negatively in response to difficult situations, including me.

Like many of us who experience a major crisis before taking a different turn, I decided to shed my negative attitude during the course of my marriage annulment proceedings.   Why?  Simply because I got tired of being angry and feeling hurt.   I woke up one morning and told myself that I was going to take charge of my feelings and wasn’t going to let anyone or anything provoke me. 

Happiness IS a choice.  Besides, there are many other reasons why I avoid negativity—

Negativity cripples growth.

Everyone has goals.  It could be a fitness goal, financial goal, career goal, or any dream in your head.  The thing is, if you think negatively about what you want, chances are that you won’t be able to reach it.   

When you are convinced that there is no way for you to succeed, your mind prevents you from doing what you can and from seeing it through.  Even the tiniest doubt can lead you to abandon your goals when you encounter difficulties along the way. As a result, you may find yourself in the same position after a period of time shall have lapsed, “stinking” like stagnant water.

Negativity makes excuses rather than opportunity.

A negative thinker runs away from an opportunity while a positive thinker seizes it.  A person with a negative mindset feels inadequate and uncomfortable with moving forward while a dreamer is filled with excitement for what is to become of him.  To relieve his anxiety, the negative thinker rationalises with himself never realising that the probabilities of success and failure in every situation are equal. You either succeed or you don’t.

Negativity builds doubt rather than faith.

I admit that there were moments of doubt, particularly when things got tough as a single parent. Life’s just like that.  Today you could be perfect while tomorrow can be the opposite.   But I didn’t let my doubts and fears sink in and turn into negative thoughts.  At times like these, you need to catch yourself as you begin to get that sinking feeling and replace negative thoughts with more positive scenarios. 

Using the analogy of a clock, a favorite motivational speaker once suggested that you wind up your mind daily with good thoughts to keep it running well.  I do just that.  

Avoid negativity!

Negativity can exist in your own mind or it can come from the attitude of people around you.  Ignore criticism but be open to suggestion.  Avoid people who cannot seem to find the good in anything as negativity can be contagious.

As you work your way to a goal, obstacles may arise and can usher in negative thoughts.  To help you get a positive mindset, look at the situation just as you would view a photograph’s negative in reverse.  Highlight the positive aspects, believe that setbacks are temporary and get on with your goal.

The Mindset of Achievers

Achievers are not born– they are self made.  And there are specific qualities that achievers share in common and which may account for their successes in life.

These include:

Positive thinking

For dreamers, nothing is impossible. The body can achieve what the mind can conceive and believe.  There is no room for negativity in the mind of a dreamer because negativity is the killer of dreams.  If you want to succeed, you must practise positive thinking and replace negative thoughts with better ones.


All things that are tangible started out as ideas and concepts in the mind. For instance, all tall buildings started out as images in the mind of the architect.  Creativity is important because not all problems have clear cut solutions or there may be a better way to handle a situation.  Achievers use their imagination to create solutions for problems or to discover better ways of reaching their goals.

Victory mentality

Achievers are still human with limitations like everyone else. They also experience failure in business and relationships as well as tragedies like abuse, rejection, divorce and injustice.  Achievers, however, rise above their storms, refuse to turn bitter and become better regardless of their tragedies. Instead of wasting their time and energy by beating themselves about their misfortune, achievers turn their energies into productive activities, moving on from where they left off.  Losers keep a victim mentality while winners bear a victory mentality.

Big thinking

Achievers understand that the mind is boundless and think in big terms.  While the body can only grow so much, the mind does not carry such limitation.  When you think big, you dream big.  Conditioning your mind to think big eventually leads you to take steps to achieve that dream, no matter how huge it may seem.  Aim high if you want to hit high.

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