Tag Archive for on and off relationships

Thoughts About On and Off Relationships

Relationships are like roads.  A relationship can be generally smooth but it isn’t free of the occasional bumps on the road.  

Once in a while, you and your partner will experience problems that will rock your commitment to one another.  If your commitment to stay together is strong, then you can overcome the crisis together. 

But not all relationships are as lucky.  Some go through repetitive cycles of breaking up and making up.  If you find yourself in an on and off relationship, peace of mind escapes you as a consequence of instability. 

You will always have the feeling that the next break-up could happen any time.  Instead of just going through the motions of a love-hate pattern, you may want to look into what’s really preventing you from staying together or from leaving one another altogether.                    

Fear of Commitment :  One or both of you may be frightened by the thought of a long term relationship.  While you both enjoy each other’s company, the one who is afraid of settling down worries about missing out on some things.  Sometimes, you may fear commitment if you have experienced getting hurt by someone in a previous relationship.  Serious relationships in the past that have gone sour can leave one feeling skeptical about the future of a current relationship. 

If you are constantly plagued by questions of what if, then you need to talk things over with one another. Only a strong commitment to work things out can keep you from breaking up at the slightest doubt or provocation.  Because a fear of commitment is personal to you, you will have to overcome it someday or brace yourself for an emotional rollercoaster ride for the rest of your life.    

Hard Habit to Break:   On the other hand, there are those that leave a relationship for the right reasons but somehow find their ways back to one another, not due to a genuine love for one another, but because of the fear of stepping out of a comfort zone that the old relationship has created. 

In long relationships, certain routines have usually been established and when you break away from it, you find yourself missing those familiar routines rather than the person you were with.  If this is your only reason for getting back every time, you may never have a stable relationship at all, as the same conflict that brought you apart before may arise occasionally to split you up again.  You can do one of two things:  settle for an unstable relationship or break the destructive pattern you have gotten used to.      

While it is true that a relationship can become stronger from the experience of hurdling serious obstacles together, the constant cycle of breaking up and making up may an indication of more serious issues that need to be addressed. 

Take the time to reflect on those issues and determine for yourself if you can still work it out or if it really is high time to find someone you can build a stable relationship with. 

Whatever it is you decide to do, aim for stability.  

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