Archive for Personal development

The Mindset of Achievers

Achievers are not born– they are self made.  And there are specific qualities that achievers share in common and which may account for their successes in life.

These include:

Positive thinking

For dreamers, nothing is impossible. The body can achieve what the mind can conceive and believe.  There is no room for negativity in the mind of a dreamer because negativity is the killer of dreams.  If you want to succeed, you must practise positive thinking and replace negative thoughts with better ones.


All things that are tangible started out as ideas and concepts in the mind. For instance, all tall buildings started out as images in the mind of the architect.  Creativity is important because not all problems have clear cut solutions or there may be a better way to handle a situation.  Achievers use their imagination to create solutions for problems or to discover better ways of reaching their goals.

Victory mentality

Achievers are still human with limitations like everyone else. They also experience failure in business and relationships as well as tragedies like abuse, rejection, divorce and injustice.  Achievers, however, rise above their storms, refuse to turn bitter and become better regardless of their tragedies. Instead of wasting their time and energy by beating themselves about their misfortune, achievers turn their energies into productive activities, moving on from where they left off.  Losers keep a victim mentality while winners bear a victory mentality.

Big thinking

Achievers understand that the mind is boundless and think in big terms.  While the body can only grow so much, the mind does not carry such limitation.  When you think big, you dream big.  Conditioning your mind to think big eventually leads you to take steps to achieve that dream, no matter how huge it may seem.  Aim high if you want to hit high.

Understanding Quantum Consciousness

Sometime last year, a client asked me to write a few articles on an interesting and complex subject– Quantum Consciousness.  For some, what you are about to read can be confusing or enlightening, depending on how “open” your mind is to exploring theories of the mind. 

Here is that article:

Answering the question “what is consciousness?” has baffled scientists and philosophers for quite some time. Men of science on one hand explain consciousness or the mind in physical ways by describing the brain, its structure and fabric. 

While the brain is responsible for the body’s responses to stimuli using the five material senses of touch, taste, hearing, smell and sight, there are other brain activities such as mind wandering, day dreaming, meditation, and memories which occur without physical stimuli, but are nonetheless real.   Thus, the theory of quantum consciousness arose as another school of thought attempted to fully explain the mind using a combination of science and philosophy. 

Basis of quantum consciousness

The underlying principle of quantum consciousness holds that the mind controls the brain and that consciousness is not merely physical matter.  To understand consciousness, its proponents posed the philosophical question: 

 What is the self?

At first glance, it may seem like a simple, even trivial question.  For most of us, the self is simply “me” as opposed to “others”.  But on the more fundamental level, the question of “what is the self” is quite difficult to answer. 

Experts from various backgrounds have attempted to explain this abstract concept only to conclude that the mind, consciousness, or the self is not mere physical matter. 

The debate between the scientists on one hand and the philosophers on the other continues. While there may be no definite answer to the question about the self, what remains clear in quantum consciousness theory is that a connection exists between the mind and the body.

Using quantum consciousness for healing


Proceeding from the mind-body connection of quantum consciousness, with your brain as the major control center of the body, some health professionals claim that it is possible to master the mind-body connection heal physical ailments without the use of medicine.

Faith healers, those with incredible inner strength and so-called miracle workers are said to have unleashed the power of the mind or consciousness to change physical matter and overcome diseases. 

Practitioners of quantum healing use their mastery of consciousness as well to treat stress-related diseases such as chronic body aches and pains, boost energy levels, sharpen memory and clarity, delay physical signs of aging, strengthen the immune system and promote a sense of well-being.

Quantum consciousness can be used in many aspects of life. It is best demonstrated by the successes of many in various fields.  These are the people who are able to set goals, motivate themselves and yield tangible results.

Procrastination Kills

Failure and success are determined by two common elements: timing and advice. – Pat Mesiti

Even as access to knowledge has become easier than ever with Internet and self improvement resources,  you still see many people leading their lives as before, some even going on a downward spiral. What then causes these  people to fail in spite of all the principles of prosperity being taught to them?   The problem with most people  is procrastination.

Two things are important in success:   Timing and Advice.  Master both, and you’ll find every goal achievable.


Successful people attribute their achievements to doing the right thing while being at the right place and right time.  On the other hand, the ones who fail are those who wait too long before they do something about their situation or get help for it.  Take the case of someone in need of medical help.   For most diseases, early detection and intervention are crucial for effective treatment. 

 The element of timing not only applies to your health, but to your finances, happiness, job and relationship as well.     People who put off saving for the future often end in bankruptcy or debt.   An unhappy marriage that is left untended often leads to divorce.   Similarly, those who continuously postpone pursuing their passions end up with regret when they are old.    


All problems have solutions.  You just need to know what they are.    While it may be possible for you not to know the appropriate solution for your situation, bear in mind that others do. 

There are specialists, experts and those who have dealt with a similar issue with success.  You can turn to professionals like doctors, accountants, lawyers, coaches and consultants for proper advice.    

Timing also matters when seeking advice.     The sooner you ask for assistance, the greater are your chances of resolving your problem or reaching your goals. 

Time stops for no one, nor can it be reversed. For every second that you spend not doing what you are supposed to do, you pull yourself further away from your goal, or worse, make things more difficult to address later on.

So go  to the right people for advice and  take action while your problems are manageable.

Why You Should Choose Your Associations

As children, we were often reminded by our parents to choose our friends wisely.   This is due to the idea that when two or more people get together frequently, there is usually a common denominator running through them that makes them gel.    And if you are not careful about the company you keep, you may wind up just like any of them depending on that person’s degree of influence on you.

I’ve had my own lessons in friendships as well.

While I try to welcome friends from all walks of life, I admit that I maintain varying degrees of friendship with them.  The ones that survive over the years are those whose lives, interests and values mirror mine.  Those that don’t simply fall out of the way or reach low points that signal the need to move on.   We simply learn from the highs and lows of relationships and hopefully emerge wiser.

A motivational speaker, author and life coach who I admire is Pat Mesiti. His is a life story that seems to come straight out of a movie because of his dramatic high and low points in life. And he likes to share what he learned through those moments.  Here are some of the things I learned from him:


Find good role models in all areas of your life. 

You may not know how to become prosperous in your life but you may know of people who are successful in their careers, businesses, and families.  Connect with these people who are good in what you want to do.  Learn their methods and apply these principles to your life.

Choose the company you keep wisely.

The people who you are regularly exposed to can influence the way you think, talk and act.  Notice how you feel weighed down after hanging around negative people.  On the other hand, Pat Mesiti believes that you can become successful if you spend more time with people who are achievers in their respective fields.  

Stretch your comfort zone to reach a higher level of association.


Success can entail moving upward in the level of your associations.  The thought of changing your environment slightly may intimidate you and prevent you from moving outside your comfort zone. New associations bring new experiences that may seem uncomfortable at the onset.  While your new relationships may take some getting used to, you should still keep an open mind and allow yourself to flow with the opportunities that come with your new friendship.

As a life coach, Pat Mesiti has taught many people how to identify and build meaningful associations only with special types of people.  These include the people you look up to such as mentors and role models, peers with whom you can interact and discuss deep issues with as well as people you can lead.  If you lack any meaningful association right now, then strive to get close to people who can have a positive effect in your life and to build your connection with them.  Conversely, you should avoid paying too much attention to people who are constantly whining about their lives.  Remember, your associations become your assimilations.

Focus for Success

Successful people have great focus. 

They know what their strengths are and choose to do only what they’re good at. 

When you do too much, you spread yourself thinly and become less effective.  This is why you need FOCUS.


Focus for strength.

 Your busy lifestyle may mean doing several things at the same time.   While multi tasking may eventually help you get things done, you may notice that your strength is sapped at the end of the day, making it difficult for you to enjoy life outside of work or your business.   On the other hand, doing things a step at a time enables you to focus clearly on any endeavor, resulting in better outcomes while leaving you enough energy to enjoy life after work.  

 Focus for better quality.

A day only has so many hours for you for accomplishing a limited number of activities.   This includes enough time for sleeping, eating, bathing and other personal necessities.   People who try to do too much in one day end up doing things haphazardly as they rush to meet their schedules.  When the quality of your work or output suffers, you end up doing things all over again.  What is more important than getting so many things done is doing things the right way and at the first shot.

Focus on being good at one thing.


It’s best  to set your sights on being good at one thing than being mediocre at everything.  You may try to know a little bit of everything but you won’t get as much fulfillment as when you are a master or specialist at something.    To illustrate, doctors study general medicine but end up specializing in a particular field like neurosurgery, pediatrics or cardiology after leaving school.    This applies to sports as well as athletes tend to excel in a specific event because their skills and training are focused on it.     When an athlete is distracted during training or a competition, he risks the outcome of his performance. 

How to Gain Focus.

  • Review what’s in your life right now.
  •  Ask yourself what your priorities are and trim those activities that do not help you reach your goals.
  • Don’t take on more than you can handle.
  • Don’t bite off more than you can chew.
  • When you prune some things out of your long list of things to do, you will experience a more rewarding life.

How Changing Your Habits Can Change Your Life

Successful people share habits that distinguish them from those whose lives appear to be in a rut.  Depending on what they are, your habits can make or break you.

 Habits are your ways of thinking and acting which become automatic because of repetition. Habits can become so ingrained in your system that you end up doing them mindlessly. 

We are all creatures of habit, both good and bad. Oftentimes, bad habits prevent you from advancing and making rapid progress. Thus, life coaches and motivational speakers suggest developing useful habits to experience positive changes in your life.  

How habits are formed

Habits start from the mind. Your mind recognizes patterns and associates these with stimuli.   In time, your brain will send out automatic signals to your body every time it recognises specific stimuli.  But for a behavior to become a habit, you will have to practise the same activity everyday for at least 21 days as psychologists maintain that it takes 21 days for the average person to learn a habit.  To change a habit, however, may take more than that period, if at all one is able to change.  

Good habits

 Start some healthy habits that can make you look and feel better such as:

  •  exercising regularly,
  •  making healthy food choices,
  • quitting smoking, and
  •  getting enough sleep.

You can also develop good habits for grooming, dressing, reading, giving and speaking.   Other patterns of behaviour, however, may not be so easy to develop such as getting control of your life, thinking positively, overcoming addiction, and managing anger.    Learn to recognize your limitations and seek help or advice at the earliest opportunity. 

 Tips on changing habits

 Examine and write them down. 

 As habits are usually automatic, you may have to examine these patterns and determine which ones prevent you from improving your life. Putting them in writing can help you assess where you are and what needs to be done.

 Develop good habits gradually.

 Older habits are usually more difficult to break and may take more time and effort to change. Start with habits that you think are easy for you to avoid.  Small changes can produce positive results which motivate you to work at changing the negative ones. 

Practise for 21 days.

Improvements take time but they are not impossible to achieve if you start now. You may experience some resistance at the beginning of your 21-day habit.  As you persevere in maintaining your new habit, doing it will feel easier as your brain and body gets used to the pattern after some time.

Developing Personal Clothes Style


Dressing for success is as essential as having the right skills, positive mindset and perseverance.  Any woman can have clothes style—the challenge is developing it.  And this does not necessarily mean buying designer labels, going to high end shops and wearing expensive clothes although you still have to invest time, money and effort in developing your own clothing style.

 What is Style?

 Style is the image you project using clothes, color, hairstyle and accessories.  While  magazines, celebrities and fashion icons can influence style, the right one for you should consider your :

  • needs
  • lifestyle
  • body type

 Key Elements of Style


 Well-groomed hair that is styled and cut in proportion to your face and figure draws immediate attention and helps create a good first impression. Unlike buying the wrong outfits, you can’t easily grow out a bad haircut or wash off the wrong hair colour so it makes sense to invest in expert advice on which hairstyle works for you as well as in a good hair stylist.


 Color is a powerful tool for drawing attention to your face.  It is skillfully used to make one appear taller, slimmer, younger, and more vibrant and feel confident.  Your skin tone (whether warm or cool) will determine the best shade for your hair color, make up and clothing. 

Style tip: Build a basic wardrobe by buying a few pieces in solid neutral colors such as grey, black, navy, taupe, brown and beige as these go well with white and accent colours.    


Fashion trends may change with the season but this does not mean changing your entire wardrobe frequently.  In fact, stylish women maintain a basic wardrobe consisting of pieces that don’t go out of style.  These include the following:

  • A dark well fitted jacket
  • Quality white shirt/s
  • Black straight legged pants
  • Dark skirt in a flattering style
  • Simple tops
  • Black shoes


 Accessories not only reflect your personality but are often used to update your basic wardrobe if you use trendy pieces. When jazzing up your clothes style for work, use the best quality accessories that you can afford to achieve an elegant look.

How you project yourself using your clothes style can affect how others perceive your capabilities. Visual impressions should not be left to chance. Developing your style can take time, money and effort but it will have effective results.

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