Should I be her rebound relationship?

The fastest way to bounce back from a break-up is to find someone new.  To someone who is nursing a broken heart, a new love interest can be a source of inspiration and a distraction.  It is human nature to want to love and to be loved in return. 

When a woman’s ex leaves a void in her heart and in her arms, she may fall in love with the next male that seems to pay her some attention.  Before you know it, a rebound relationship already exists between the two.  

There’s reason to be wary about a rebound relationship. Its defects usually surface a little later, when the passion of a whirlwind romance fades or when the broken-hearted woman meets someone more compatible to be with.  So, if you know that the woman you have a crush on is finally free, be the first to comfort her, but take care not to be her rebound boyfriend.  Here’s how:

  • Be her shrink.  Listen to her feelings. Allow her to whine about her previous relationship even when you are not interested in those things.  Wipe her tears and make her smile.  The more you allow her to process all the pain coming from her broken heart, the sooner will she recover and be ready to get into a new relationship.  Surely, you will get some credit for being there when she badly needed a shoulder to cry on. 
  • Mark your territory.  While you should avoid romantic gestures and similar advances while she is getting over her ex, you should establish your presence at an early stage to keep other male prospects from entering the picture.  This you can do by offering to be her constant companion in public places. 
  • Keep her girl friends close by.  Let her female friends maintain their roles as her best friends.  You, on the other hand, should avoid becoming her best friend, but continue being her special friend.  The last thing you’d want to hear from her is that what you both share is a platonic relationship. A platonic relationship is somewhere between a simple friendship and a romantic relationship.  Unless you get lucky, you won’t be able to get her to elevate you from platonic to romantic. So, don’t be her best friend.
  • Let her know you think she is special.  This is tricky for being a grey area.  While you don’t want to woo her immediately, you have to send subtle hints her way every now and then.  Wait for the right opportunity to put in a good word about her like when she complains that her ex was the one who dumped her.  Say something that could touch her heart like “I would never let you go if I were your boyfriend.” An indirect hint is when you avoid showing interest in other girls.  If she inquires about the existence of a girlfriend, say something like, “I am happy where I am right now.” 

Seizing the opportunity to be her boyfriend in a rebound relationship is fine if all you want is a short-lived affair.  But with perseverance and proper timing, you avoid being her rebound boyfriend while increasing your chances of having a relationship that lasts.

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