Why You Should Choose Your Associations

As children, we were often reminded by our parents to choose our friends wisely.   This is due to the idea that when two or more people get together frequently, there is usually a common denominator running through them that makes them gel.    And if you are not careful about the company you keep, you may wind up just like any of them depending on that person’s degree of influence on you.

I’ve had my own lessons in friendships as well.

While I try to welcome friends from all walks of life, I admit that I maintain varying degrees of friendship with them.  The ones that survive over the years are those whose lives, interests and values mirror mine.  Those that don’t simply fall out of the way or reach low points that signal the need to move on.   We simply learn from the highs and lows of relationships and hopefully emerge wiser.

A motivational speaker, author and life coach who I admire is Pat Mesiti. His is a life story that seems to come straight out of a movie because of his dramatic high and low points in life. And he likes to share what he learned through those moments.  Here are some of the things I learned from him:


Find good role models in all areas of your life. 

You may not know how to become prosperous in your life but you may know of people who are successful in their careers, businesses, and families.  Connect with these people who are good in what you want to do.  Learn their methods and apply these principles to your life.

Choose the company you keep wisely.

The people who you are regularly exposed to can influence the way you think, talk and act.  Notice how you feel weighed down after hanging around negative people.  On the other hand, Pat Mesiti believes that you can become successful if you spend more time with people who are achievers in their respective fields.  

Stretch your comfort zone to reach a higher level of association.


Success can entail moving upward in the level of your associations.  The thought of changing your environment slightly may intimidate you and prevent you from moving outside your comfort zone. New associations bring new experiences that may seem uncomfortable at the onset.  While your new relationships may take some getting used to, you should still keep an open mind and allow yourself to flow with the opportunities that come with your new friendship.

As a life coach, Pat Mesiti has taught many people how to identify and build meaningful associations only with special types of people.  These include the people you look up to such as mentors and role models, peers with whom you can interact and discuss deep issues with as well as people you can lead.  If you lack any meaningful association right now, then strive to get close to people who can have a positive effect in your life and to build your connection with them.  Conversely, you should avoid paying too much attention to people who are constantly whining about their lives.  Remember, your associations become your assimilations.

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